We hear it all the time in meetings to get a sponsor, if your sponsor is not the best sponsor in the world you need a new one or a sponsor is just meant to take you through the steps. There are many different opinions on what makes your sponsor right for you, but in my opinion the number one thing that makes a sponsor great is if you are always able to feel growth within the relationship. Growth is one of the most, if not the most, important thing in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Working the 12 steps with a sponsor, helping others, and getting a connection with God are also vital parts of our recovery.
My first sponsor was an absolutely amazing woman. She took me through the 12 steps, quickly. She put my hand in God’s hand. She was everything I wanted to be; happy, social, and confident. However, I got to a point in my recovery where I did not feel like I was growing with her anymore. After a short time, I found a new sponsor. This time I was attracted this woman because she carried herself with a sense of peace and I have come to learn that this peace radiates from her spiritual connection with God. For the last year I have felt a continual sense of growth every single time I am with my sponsor.
I believe a sponsor is not meant to be a friend but that it is also okay if you become friends in the process, I mean it’s only natural that you will. A sponsor is not meant to be your lawyer, banker, parent or relationship guru. They take you through the 12 steps and are a channel for God to speak through.
Some people need a sponsor that is a hardcore Big Book thumper, while others need one that is only about love and nurturing. In my sponsorship family we are strictly about love and acceptance. We only share our experience strength and hope with each other. At this point in my recovery that is what I need in a sponsor. However, somewhere down the road that all may change and I know at that point there will be a woman out there to walk with me through that part of my journey.
Everyone in the program shares one common problem but we are all very different people. I’ve shared with you my opinion and experience on sponsorship; but at the end of the day no one knows what sponsor is right for you more than yourself. As long as you can be honest and forthcoming with a sponsor I believe you’re on the right path. For me it is not about what other people are saying, it is about what I feel is right in my heart and between me and ultimately a God of my own understanding.
If you or someone you know is seeking help with alcohol or drug addiction, please call 844-422-6926.